Monday, June 18, 2007

Entire Country of Pakistan: Apparently Still Nuts


Call me a narrow-minded turd, call me what you will, but large chunks of the Pakistani population continue to demonstrate a kind of intolerance that would give a Nazi pause. The above picture shows a group demonstrating against the knighting of Salman Rushdie. Aparently effigies of Sir Salman and the Queen were burnt in various places and the Pakistani Parliament almost unanimously voted (one vote 'nay' apparently) to declare Salman a 'blasphemer'. This is frankly embarrassing behaviour, matched only by the cartoon riots of last year.

As close as we get in the US, besides our generally abissmal foreign policy, is when our Congress voted to rename 'french fries' to 'freedom fries' in the capital building cafeterias as a protest of France's unenthusiasm for an Iraq War. (I sincerely wish our bellicose administration had bothered to listen to the French at the time.) Still, it was a lackluster protest to be sure. Not one single burning Parisian in effigy -- nor one single burning Parisian for that matter, not one single burnt french flag, no burning wheels of Brie nor a single smashed bottle of 1958 Chateau La Tour (thank you, there is a god). Just a ridiculous name change that if anything reminded the rest of the world that the United States is run by dorks.

Well, that's about enough whining out of me for now. Here are my crocodile tears for Pakistan. Now I think I'll go get myself a cup of cofffee, and maybe a nice rose of the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). I'm feeling a bit peckish.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Fallwell/God Meet-Up


Apparently Jerry has gone the way of the dodo and the carrier pidgeon. Known for the founding of the Moral Majority; blaming September 11th on pagans, feminists, abortionists, and secularists; outting Tinky Winky; and generally providing the face of narrowminded bigotry in the guise of Christianity; "Doctor" Jerry Falwell left the building today. He is well on his way to meet his maker. Hopefully Lord Dread Cthullu, the one true god, finds a worthy snack in Jerry's corpulence and is appeased. For satiating the dark lord, I stick a finger in my eye and shed a crocodile tear Jerry's way.

Paris Hilton on her way to the Hoosegow


The latest personification of western decadence finds herself on the way to jail for violating the terms of her payroll. Apparently the party's over. The unspeakable horrors she's bound to face during her incarceration -- no facials, no pedicures, etc. -- force me to yank out a nose hair and shed a tear her way.

Crocodile Tears



FWIW, crocodile's do weep real tears. They just don't shed tears for their victims. Thus this blog was started to lament the misfortune of others whom I believe got their just deserts.